Posted in Pregnancy

When The Heart-Beat Echoed!

14 November 2018. Wednesday

The most treasurable day of my life till date. Not a children’s day. Its my Baby’s day

I am eager for a USG scan. Hoping all is fine with the Baby. Last week scan showed no fetal pole (read here). So my next scan was scheduled on Friday 16 Nov. But, Then I also had little bit of spotting (read here) last sunday. I am just praying everything is fine. nothing else I want. Just I want my Baby you to fine.

I had an appointment book but the scan we had to wait for long time for the scan. After half an wait Its my turn. Dr asks is your bladder fulled. I say positive. I am highly tensed and nervous. While doctors assistant prepares for the scan, I am asked to lie down on the table.

The assistant lift my top and applies some cool gel. Then doctor takes the place. With the scan machine in hand. While she start moving it around my abdomen, I start shooting questions

ME: Dr can you see anything

Dr. yes

Me: What can your see,

Dr: There is sac and small dot.

Me: Is there a baby? Can you see baby?

Dr: Yes Yes! I can this small white dot is the baby

Me: Smiles (then i hear some noise) All normal ?

Dr: Yes. we can hear the heart beat. Did you hear.

Me: No, was that noise heartbeat?

Dr: Wait I will show you.

Then I hear my baby’s heartbeat. A sign of life. A heart beating inside me.

I cant stop myself from crying. I cant explain my feelings in words. I just cant stop the water rolling down from my eyes.

Dr asks me to get up and wait for reports. With wet eyes I rushed to the washroom to calm myself down. After nearly 10mins I am able to control myself and come out . I come out and wait to show the reports to the doctor.

But it was very tough to control the emotion. I want to shout. talk to everyone close to me and express what I just heard in the scan room. I heard my baby. I have another heart beating within me. Another soul in me. I am loving this. More than anything

This is most precious in my life. My baby you are 6week 3 days old today. I have to wait another 34 weeks to see you. Till then I have to nourish you and take care of you while you are within. Love you my baby!! ❤

Posted in Pregnancy

Some Bleeding

11 Nov 2018, Sunday

We, Me and my Husband,go somewhere outside every Sunday.Our sunday goes like this:  a dinner, movie and some late night drive. Its kind of a ritual for out sunday dates. But, since we are pregnant, now I avoid eating outside food. Now we stick to the rule some basic shopping if required, movie, short drive and then dinner back home.

This Sunday was not a normal Sunday, when both of us wouldnt work. He had to go for some important dealings. He anticipated to be free by early evening. So, like every sunday, we decided we will go out for a movie in the evening once he is back from meeting.

All was good. I had to plan for a movie show now.

After he went for work I had my lunch and played with my 4 year old nephew for sometime. Then made him sleep with me. Later, for some reason, I wasnt feeling sleepy that time. So I started looking for movies shows available tonight. Then I called up my mom for a chit-chat. After a short discussion, I put her on hold  as I had an urge to pee.

As I went to the washroom and lowered on the pot, I was totally shocked.  I noticed some spots on underwear. I panicked. I had no idea why there is spotting. This kind of vaginal discharge only happens to me on 6-7th day of periods. I am pregnant. I was not supposed to have any blood coming out. I came back and informed this to mom who was still on hold, even she panicked. This shouldnt have happened. I hung up the call . I told mom that, I have to call up my gynecologist immediately to consult and then call her back.

Unfortunately, my doctor was on leave, as it was Sunday. Her assistant asked me to drop a message, saying that doctor shall reply when she notices it. I did as asked. I had no idea what to do. I didnt want to think anything negative about my baby’s existence. Moreover, my 5week’s scan had no fetal pole.

I didnt want to bother my husband by this mishap.  He was into something very important. Then I decided to call up my best friend, who is in another state. She is a mother of 3 year old and had a miscarriage earlier. I thought she might be able to support me. But even she disconnected. It was sunday, she would have been busy with family.

I texted my friend and , shocked by the message, she immediately called me back. She suggested me to consult doctor immediately, and to be on complete rest. She also asked me to lie down with legs raised, possibly with 2-3 pillows beneath the legs and none or just one below head and neck. I followed her. I tried to make minimal movement. I tried to calm myself down and sleep.

When I woke up there was no further blood.  I felt a bit relieved. I had read on internet that heavy bleeding is a sign of miscarriage. Some brown discharge may be some old blood coming out or a sign of egg implantation. I kept myself optimistic.

After sometime I got a message from Gynaec suggesting to take rest and go for  a USG.

By the time it was evening and my husband came home. We were not in mood to go out anywhere. He was tired and came little late than expected. I told him about spotting, even he panicked then I asserted that it was just mild and happened once in afternoon. It could be some old blood. We couldnt decide whether we should go a USG at this stage or not. Last time there was no fetal pole and next scan was due after 5 days. we decided to wait. But somehow, in my mind, I wasnt convinced, also I noticed some spotting next morning.

Next day onwards I was on full rest. I wasnt allowed to do any house chores until 3 months of pregnancy. We got a househelp to help us with chores. Although I was on rest, my entire day was restless. In the evening, I told my husband, we should go for the scan and not take any risk. We should do as suggested by the doctor.

We decided and I booked an appointment next day for Early pregnancy Scan.


Posted in Pregnancy

No Fetal Pole (My First Scan)

6th November 2018, Tuesday

I was damn excited to see what’s happening inside my abdominal area. To assure the belief that there is a live human developing inside my womb. It was a festive season. A day prior to Diwali, Chhoti Diwali.

We had been for scan on previous day as well but a male doctor was available in hospital. I wasnt aware of the fact that there would be a male doctor, neither is was informed to come with full bladder. USG scan was supposed to be done by  a stick kind of a tool attached to a huge machine by rotating it over the lower abdomen. It is done on a full bladder (I was supposed to control my pee and store it in bladder before coming for scan) .

So, when the doctor started performing the test over the stomach, there was no clear image on screen. Then he suggested to get scan done internally. Internal scan is done by inserting something in the vagina. I was asked to change for that. But we were not comfortable with the male doctor, and decided to get scan done whenever we get a female doc.

Now I want to mention, further details of this jncident, so that everyone knows how some doctors nowadays want to steal money out of patient’s pocket and how rude mine was. Before the scan doctor asked “how do you know you are pregnant? ” ‘High level of BHCG can be an ectopic pregnancy some malignant tissue as well” He kept on saying that. He made us really scared. Moreover, when we refused for vaginal scan, male doctor said “if you are not ready, I will do the SCAN over the stomach only and give the as it is”(which was unclear). There was no point in getting unclear images, even he knew that. He just wanted us to get scan done by him and get his share of money.

I returned back hime and started aggressively searching for other diagnostic centres with female doctors. Unfortunately, all female doctors were on leave until Diwali was over. Suddenly I came across a centre where female doctor was available, but only in the evening time, next day. Next day we had Chhoti Diwali puja in the evening. The rituals take around an hour. Somehow I insisted at the centre to give us late appointment and they were nice to agree.

6th November, Tuesday Evening.

We performed Diwali puja. I was getting repeated calls from the diagnostic centre as we were getting late and doctor was waiting only to see me. We rushed as soon as the pooja was over. I was all excited, dressed up nicely in skirt and long Kurta, indo ethnic look.

After lots of paper formalities before USG, it was time for scan. Again Nothing was seen at over the stomach scan. I had to prepare myself for internal one. I thought it would pain, but once she started I was very comfortable and felt tickle inside.😂🙈

Finally the scan was clear. There was some black empty bag and inside which a white color cucumber shape (that’s how I explained 4yr old nephew) something. That one was Yolk sac. But no fetal pole. Radiologist said she cant see any baby. We got scared again. ‘Was the male doctor right? May I not be pregnant?’ I thought. I asked the same to doctor. To this Doctor asserted that high BHCG is 99% in pregnancy only. There are almost extremely rare chances ;close to nil for any disease or ectopic pregnancy. I was bit relieved. Doctor also mentioned that she could see some dot which might be the egg/ baby, but she cant affirm it.

I was worried but hoping for the best. It was an early scan only. Done at exactly 6 weeks of missed period. Sometimes baby is seen at 8 weeks also (as per information on internet.)

We showed the reports to doctor and even she said sometimes baby is seen later and suggested scan after 1 week.

I was bit relieved but desperate to see the LIFE INSIDE ME 🙂